17,870 Days

I am taking an Microsoft Excel 2010 continuing education course at a local college here in Dallas.  Today was spent on the basics of this powerful and useful computer program that I can use in the future.

Our teacher is a dynamic and brilliant woman who can also teach 28 other types of computer programs.  Her precision and instant memory of complex functions and easy to understand teaching style makes this class fun and engaging.  Even if its 3 1/2 hours long on Saturday.  I am already looking forward to the next level class in February.

One of the formulas she had us "plug" into a spreadsheet calculated the amount of days we have been on this earth. I was so surprised by my number I had her "redo" my formula to make sure.  The number was just astounding:

17,870 days to be exact.

I announced to the class I was very "happy" with my number.  It seemed so generous and overflowing with abundance.  The sum total of my life. Even it some of the days were living Hell.  Or days filled with endless anxiety and depression.  It still seemed overly generous.  

The days of our lives.  With all the rainy Mondays and well spent Fridays.  Or weekends filled with tasks and naps.  Or days I spent wishing for a different type of life.  It seemed I wanted my days to be the opposite than the one offered to me.

It seems selfish now to have had this view.  Like wanting the Sun to look and feel different than it does.  Or wanting the trees to grow differently.  Hoping that my Mind would one day give a big and emphatic two thumbs up for that one sacred day.

This sacred day.

Any day is sacred.  Even those boring ones or crazy and demanding days.  Or the ones we spend wishing our lives and past were anything but the way it was for us.

I wondered if people with cancer or near the end of their life see it this way or do they want to have more days?  Asking for more days in this body seem selfish to me.  I feel like I have lived a complete life.  Nothing needs to be added or taken away.  It is all perfect.  Right down to the minute.

I would be happy, fulfilled and complete if this was to be my last day.  

Honestly.  

What a gift she taught me.  LIfe for me is in this moment.  Or days.  Strung together by sleep and pivotal moments and milestones.  They all count.

I also reflected on all the "second chances" I received to get it right.  The behaviors and karma I had to work out of my mind, body and Soul.  This generous amount of time given by a loving and patient Universe filled with compassion and kindness to a very troubled Soul.

Sacred.

 

 

Comments

[Leah]

That's exactly what you needed to discover...that all the days counted. This is a good reminder that we count. We matter. You matter. No matter what or where we come from, what our past, what our suffering, we still counted- we mattered even when we suffered. We know it isn't true when we feel something about ourselves didn't count...It did and it does.