I recently sat with my partner before and after his recent surgery. It seemed like a kind thing to do. He was nervous before the procedure and I wanted to assure him that it would be ok. I myself, having had the same procedure, knew what to expect afterwards.
After his procedure was finished I was allowed to sit with him while he recovered from the anesthesia and the invasive procedure. He was still sleeping when I sat down next to him and I watched him breathe slowly in and out.
In the stillness of the room I watched my hand slowly move and caress his cold hands and held it warmly. While I was doing this I was observing my emotions slowly changing. The concern I had been holding was replaced with tears in my eyes. I felt a blanket of love fall out of me and unto his body and Being. It seemed so natural and yet it was so fresh and new. The love was coming out of me and into the room and around him.
I watched spellbound.
Pure and joyful like gently falling snow.
When he awoke he slowly reached his hands out to me and tried to touch my face. Gentle tears fell down from his eyes.
"I love you" he whispered.
"I love you too" I responded.
The doubt I had about being capable of truly loving another human slowly left me. On a certain level I knew people "liked" me and that seemed and felt like love, but this was far different.
Love Is not a choice like I had imagined it would be, rather it's a state of being. Complete and whole. It moves accordingly and without an agenda. Dr. David Hawkins defines it this way:
"Love is misunderstood to be an emotion; actually, it is a state of awareness, a way of being in the world, a way of seeing oneself and others.”