A friend sent me this interview from NPR that affirmed many of my past experiences of my childhood sexual abuse. Here is the introduction to the writer/speaker:
"A new memoir by New York Times columnist Charles Blow begins with him in his car on his way to shoot and kill a man. That man is Blow's older cousin, who allegedly sexually abused Blow when Blow was 7 years old.
Blow, who was 20 when he set out for vengeance, turned back and never pulled the trigger. He finally realized he couldn't continue to live his life "through the eyes of a 7-year-old boy," he writes.
His memoir, Fire Shut Up In My Bones, is about the abuse Blow says he suffered — from the cousin and an uncle. He also writes about a period in which he says he was bullied into keeping the abuse a secret — a period that left Blow confused about his sexual orientation.
"I don't think I was even questioning [my sexuality] as much as I was trying to figure out, 'Why me? How could this happen not just once, but twice from someone else [who's] also in my family? What did it mean?'" Blow tells Fresh Air's Terry Gross. "Also, now, the idea that men and boys can be attracted to each other is a very present thought in my mind — that that sometimes enters my mind and trying to figure out what does that mean for me as I develop into an older boy and a man of my own?"
Blow now sees his orientation as bisexual — fluid, but with more of an attraction to women than men.
His memoir is also about growing up poor in rural Louisiana, the youngest of five boys."
Here is the radio interview:
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